Welcome to the first installment of…something.
I don’t want to say review, because this isn’t a review. If there’s a damn title at the top of this that isn’t “My Obsession with Drag Has Reached a Whole New Level and I Don’t F*cking Care” then I managed to figure something out that met Pending. standards.
If not, we’ll figure out some newer, better shit later. For now, I’m here to gag over one of my favorite queens of drag: Pearl Liaison. I am a HUGE fan of high glam, modern Drag that defies the idea of just being a man in a dress. Drag is an art, man. I hear beauty gurus dropping mentions of drag techniques in their daily routines, professional makeup artists, even my co workers have sung the high praises of “cooking” your highlights/concealer/etc. Kim K’s makeup artist wasn’t the one who invented that trick, honey. Drag has had input in everything from your foundation routine to the new focus on your ‘on fleek’ eyebrows.
So, now that I’ve gotten my paragraph of rambling out of the way- lets talk about Pearl.
Pearl may be relatively new to the drag scene, but girl is taking the world by storm. Queen Liaison brings an air of high fashion, modern glam, with teeny, tiny notes of old hollywood. Specific enough for you? Whatever Madame Pearl would call it (which I would love to know, if you’re reading Pearl! Reach me here girl!) I’m dying over it. I mean, just look at those boobs! Think of how delicately those had to be contoured in order to reach such perky perfection! So far, I’m thoroughly impressed by Pearl’s artistic talent- but what did I think of her the first time I saw her walk the runway?
It wasn’t good, I’ll tell you that.
Like it’s been mentioned all season, I found Pearl- at first, to be rather flat. Pearl brought a pretty face, but the deep set bedroom eyes she brought were just overly sultry enough to accidentally give her the look of Kristen Stewart on xanax.
Dead, plain, and nearly identical every single look.
I was irritated, drooling over the other Queens for their looks and personalities, wondering when Pearl was going to pull the stick out of her ass and give the world a goddamn smile on the runway. But dammit, when she finally ‘woke up’ as the judges would say, she finally had me.
Girl is fabulous.
You can ask anyone I know closely, I don’t like half-assed. Do it all or don’t do it at all (this can apply to anything from drag, to a large pizza- take your pick) and I was SO excited when Pearl finally pulled out the stops for the DESPY awards in Episode 5. As soon as Pearl tucked her chin back and released her lines, I was dying. Ru drilling into Pearl was exactly what this Queen needed and I’m thrilled to see her at her full potential. And on top of that, I’ve realized how easily I’ve been able to relate to her.
I believe I can explain one photo.
See? Total twins. Completely unimpressed is probably my state of being 98% of my life. The other 2% is yet to be identified. It probably has something to do with food or makeup.
Despite not seeing her personality on the runway until Episode 5, while watching Untucked you get a glimpse of Pearl’s sarcastic wit and personality just by viewing a few of the conversations she has with the other girls. But what got me was that Pearl didn’t just say: “Oh thanks!” when Ginger Minj complimented her contoured-to-the-gods boobies, she joked that if you turned them, “Oh, now they’re gone.”
Yas, girl, YAS.
But since I didn’t watch Untucked until Episode 6, I’m seeing how Pearl is getting the short end of the stick from the editing department. On Untucked, you see some amount of life from Pearl from day one. Subtle, but it’s there. On the full episode, Pearl is blank, dead, and generally dull in my eyes- which is what made me irritated that she didn’t even seem to be trying.
Now I see how you play, RuPaul producers.
I’m predicting that Queen Pearl will be a force to reckon with this season, and the other queens- while talented they are, should watch their backs. Pearl was deemed a weak link too early in the season and then proved out of seemingly nowhere that she actually had skills to deal out, and that she wasn’t about to just lay down and let the others use her personality as a reason to play down her talents.
I totally get it. Bitchface Syndrome is real, gurl. So you keep your wit and your bedroom eyes! May the odds ever be in your favor, gorgeous!
Now, enjoy all the photos I managed to collect of Pearl for this post that I didn’t end up using!
Thanks for reading!